Friday, 27 October 2017

Under the apple turnovers






Half term has flown by in a flurry of little trips, constant dog walks and attempts by me to write something I need to get done by the end of the month. It hasn't been hugely successful. The littlest boy helped me along today by reading jokes from his book of 1001 Really Stupid Jokes while I worked. I keep hiding it, but it keeps turning up again.

Him: How does Dracula keep fit?

Me: No idea.

Him: He plays batminton.

Me: (After a tired pause) Brilliant.

Him: What were the only creatures not to go into the ark in pairs?

Me: Don't know but can you read them in your head, I'm trying to work.

Him: Maggots. They went in in an apple.

Mum, what's a skeleton's favourite instrument?

Me: Shssh now, let me concentrate.

Him: Okay, just do this one.

Me: I don't know, what is a skeleton's favourite instrument?

Him: A trombone. What kind of snake is useful on a window?

Me: CAN YOU PLEASE BE QUIET, I CAN'T HEAR MYSELF THINK.

Silence.

Him: A viper! Did you hear about the skeleton who was attacked by a dog? It left him without a leg to stand on.

I gave up. You can't fight that level of ridiculousness.

We squeezed in a quick puppy groom yesterday. The pup needed his chin and eyebrows trimmed. He emerged looking like a cloud. Half an hour running round the park with a spaniel soon sorted that out. I don't really mind though, there's something very satisfying about seeing a dog running round madly with a new chum. He found a (mostly) empty can of strong lager on his walk this morning and galloped about with that a bit. That wasn't as good, I could see the lager flying out onto his newly fluffed coat.

Has anyone ever seen a school shirt looking like this before?


I have a feeling it may be a new world record. The littlest boy tried very hard to sneak it in without anyone noticing. Harder than he expected I think. He claims to have fallen over.

I am thinking about knitting a cowl in moss stitch. Madness? I fear it may be. In fact I think I started one before and unpicked it in fury after two rows.


There was a goldcrest in my fridge earlier. The biggest boy found it on a bike ride yesterday and brought it home in an enormous carrier bag. He wanted to do a post-mortem drawing of it. I popped it into an empty ice-cream tub under the apple turnovers.

It's an amazing little bird, so tiny. A picture, if you can bear it, showing its little yellow crest.


I am off to do a little more beavering away at the writing job now. Wishing all a good weekend. We will be puppy training and playing football as usual. And in between I will be constantly vacuuming up chewed up sticks and washing mud out of things. Honestly, it's never ending no? I dream of a weekend alone somewhere, wandering, writing, reading, soaking up the peace and quiet. If I close my eyes I can picture it all. Of course I would spent the time worrying about what was happening in my absence. Chaos and mutiny. I can picture that as well and pretty vividly.

29 comments:

  1. Loved the jokes. That’s the sort of thing that happened in my year two class. Always one to encourage reading, once the jokes started it was hard to stop them...you’ve got to love ‘em! As for the shirt, I agree, hard to better that one. Hope you’ve got the extra strong detergent ready. Good luck on the writing time, it will happen:). Have a peaceful weekend. B x

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  2. I've been looking at dead mice all week, but at least they haven't been in the fridge. I did see an injured bird this morning, at the library. It had a broken wing. Honestly, it was the saddest thing I've seen in a long time. I don't know about that shirt...I'm thinking it was run over by a car to look like that. Wow. There's a story there. :)

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  3. One day you will be an empty nester with all the time and peace and quiet you desire.. but you'll miss them. Unless they get married and have kids and move back home with you. LOL! You could negotiate a weekend away for your xmas gift? What are you working on training Bertie to do over the weekend? ((hugs)), Teresa :-)

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  4. You and I should meet up somewhere to chat and write. Hmmmm...halfway? Where would that be? Oh, you have me giggling, we'd never get any work done!

    Your boy and pup keep you on your toes. Do you get snow during the winter? Sounds like a lot of rain and mud, but you are here to enlighten me. :)

    This is a perfectly beautiful bird! I'm learning my birds, mostly from the feeders I set out this summer. Hubs would have a stroke if he found one in the freezer, and definitely blame it on the blog!

    Sending love, Clair. You keep me laughing and smiling in agreement.

    Jane x

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    1. Yes, halfway sounds good. There's almost never snow here. I bought toboggans a few years ago and there hasn't been a flake since. CJ xx

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  5. That shirt! I marvel at how covered Angus's t-shirts are in paint, felt pen and food each day, given that he's in y4 now, not nursery.

    My half term has been similarly hectic and I've also vacuumed up a lot of chewed sticks. The basket of logs by the fire is also proving to be very tempting to Ziggy. I'll join you on that quiet weekend away if that's ok with you? Xx

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  6. A rather smiley post, with a great title, although sad to see the goldcrest. I guess that you'll be relieved when half-term is over.
    Thanks, and you too. xx

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  7. Can I join you, too? The t-shirt is quite amazing, looks like a mud bomb exploded near it. Amazing what little boys can do, eh?
    The cold crest in the fridge - sounds like something that might happen in our house. Only mine would ask dad to dissect it with them. Drawing sounds way more civilised. Have a lovely weekend, hopefully will plenty of writing time. xx

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  8. Is your biggest boy destined to be a vet or a forensic scientist?

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  9. I happen to love moss stitch. It is super easy, but looks intricate; it does eat up yarn though and can get a bit tiring in big stretches. I love your son's interest in birds! Even though I only have one child, I can relate to the constant chatter - every time I sit at the computer and try to actually think about something - the stream of noise starts up and the guilty Mom feeling creeps in and I normally end up giving up. I have dreams of writing a children's book, but don't think that will happen while I actually have a young child. Perhaps we can rent a cabin together for a week and we can write and knit in peace and quiet, then take strolls with our cameras at sunset - sounds good? Our families could survive on pizza for a week, but I would worry about the dogs...

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    1. Oh, just saw that Gillian's already joining you - can I crash the quiet party? ;)

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  10. That shirt definitely wins the prize. Giggling at Bertie looking like a cloud. Poor little gold crest, our smallest bird. Good luck with the writing xxx

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  11. Life with boys... I remember it well! But I do miss the constant mud, mess, noise and bad jokes! Good luck with getting your writing done x

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  12. Boys are hysterical. We are very busy saying the knock knock joke, boo, boo hoo, don't cry. Although most of the time Little Buddy gets it wrong. That shirt is a disaster! And you are brave to be doing moss stitch, it is so time consuming.

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  13. Poor little bird - but I'm very impressed by your son's scientific approach . Another Chris Packham in the making?!

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  14. Your boys and Bertie do make me smile, I'm surprised you manage any writing or blogging when they are around! Sarah x

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  15. Ah yes the joke books! Those still come out of retirement every now and again. Especially fun entertaining the younger cousins, but maybe not during writing assignments!

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  16. Lindas imagens. Feliz semana. cumprimentos

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  17. Beautiful bird. I can understand why your boy brought him home. Hope you get your dream weekend. Maybe you could send all the others on a camping trip. Maybe it could become an annual event.

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  18. I have raised three sons-you are describing my life 20 years ago! Had a sweet smile reading about your bird in the fridge! lol

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  19. My son (aged 30) still likes to entertain us with his repertoire of jokes. They are unstoppable. The only time I ever saw clothing with that sort of spatter pattern of mud was after we'd cycled around Lake Constance without mudguards.
    I saw a live Goldcrest today!

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  20. Lovely to catch up with you again, and hear about what you've been up to. Such lovely autumnal photos, especially the moss. I'm a big fan of moss. Your dog walks sound fun, and the knitting is gorgeous. I love moss stitch too, and last year knitted a scarf in double seed stitch which was similar but a bit less fiddly and I could almost do it on auto-pilot while watching tv.
    Cathy x

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  21. I love reading the transcript of your conversation. I can picture it exactly. I also love how you can hear your accents in those words. Everything sounds more polite with a British accent :). I hope you got some writing done and enjoyed your weekend!

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  22. I had a rule that I was off duty after 8pm and that's when I did my work (illustrating). During the day, my son had my full attention (possibly not when I was gardening, though) and I'm so pleased because they grow up so fast, and I wanted my son to know that he was heard (even if it was corny jokes!). It's a tricky one to get the balance right so I wish you luck with your writing - maybe you could ask him to write something while you work? That might buy you five minutes peace! Caro xx PS. That shirt will be as nothing compared to when they start going to festivals!!!

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  23. Impossible to concentrate on work with such hilarity around. Your son sounds lovely. Hope no one stumbles across frozen goldcrest in the search for ice-cream :-) I'm impressed by the amount of mud on that shirt – I've only seen that much on rugby shirts (so far)! From reading the other comments, you'll have a queue of other bloggers outside your writing retreat, including me. S xx

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